June 1st 2005

Ok, as promised I updated the kids pages loads - still a bit more to do now we are into a new month, but hopefully I'll be able to keep on top of that.

We had a big turn around and realised we need to get out of this house and Basingstoke ASAP. We've found a lovely house in Biggleswade, Bedfordshire which we are very excited about... We've had our offer accepted on it and we are now trying to sell our house.

This is taking up all our time at the moment so there isn't much else going on - I will probably do several updates this month as there is lots that is waiting to happen - the twins birthdays, Euan's appointment about his "asthma" and also more news on the house move. So... I would like to end this entry on a rant...

If you have nothing nice or constructive to say about Euan's fingers then please keep your ill-informed opinions to yourself. We have been very lucky that most people have either been really nice about it or they have kept their opinions to themselves. But, there have been a couple of people who have just been damn rude and/or nasty about it. When I am at a family gathering - something I don't get to do very often, the last thing I want to hear is someone telling me I should get his fingers amputated ASAP. I'm not stupid - I am the one researching to find out the real pros and cons - I'm not the one sitting there giving out crap, uninformed advice - I'm the one who understands the real risks of unnecessary surgery. If Euan needed surgery that was necessary for his health then yes - the risks of surgery would be far outweighed by the benefits, but in this case it is not. Euan has 6 fingers on each hand - BIG DEAL! Lots of children have to deal with much "worse" deformities that they have no choice but to live with - buck teeth, large moles, being cross-eyed... I could go on - there is only one person that has noticed Euan's extra fingers without being told and that was the midwife. We haven't decided what we are going to do yet, and whilst we welcome constructive and informed opinions, we do not welcome rude and down-right stupid opinions. AND when I am trying to have a good time, don't pick an argument with me - especially on such an emotive issue for me. I'm sorry that a few of you think that it's just a silly little operation to remove his fingers - it's far more than that. It's amputation of a body part he was born with. The surgery is delicate and requires a lot of skill to prevent damaging any of his other fingers. Say he had his fingers removed and as a result of the surgery he lost the use of his little fingers? How would we all feel about that? Say we went ahead with the surgery and due to complications (which are more likely in asthmatic children) with the general anaesthetic he became somehow "damaged" by the surgery, how would you feel about that? If you think these are silly concerns then I fear that your opinions are dangerous. This is very real for us and this is exactly what we are having to deal with and try to make a decision based on. Don't tell me there are no risks, because I know you are either lying or uninformed. We have to make this decision for Euan, not for us or for you; that is what makes this so hard - We have to decide whether unnecessary surgery and unnecessary risks are really worth taking for Euan's benefit.

If anyone doesn't like what I have just said then, well... tough. I am Euan's mother. I am responsible and will look at all avenues before making my decision, which, quite frankly, is a damn sight more than most people would do. I am told the majority of people wouldn't agree with me and they would just get the fingers removed. Well... The majority of people didn't agree with me having the twins at home. Most people didn't even agree with me having a breech baby vaginally, but do you know what? I researched and I soul-searched and I was right!